10 Things That Annoy Bartenders That You (Probably) Do
Many of you know that I have been working part time as a bartender since this past summer. I am so thankful for this job teaching me MANY things that I can use in other areas of my life. From how to stand up to rude people to budgeting my money to the most important part: how to act when I go out in public that doesn't annoy the people working. Things are just different on the other side of the bar and in this post I'm going to try to explain a few of the things I've learned and help YOU be a better customer for your next night out!
1. Bartering the price…
I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but there is a set menu just like if you were at a restaurant. No $5 cannot get you a double Jack & Coke. I don’t make the prices and I don’t just make up a random price that I feel like charging you. If I tell you your total is $18 that means eight.teen.dollars. United States Currency. Dinero. Gwop. Not 14 or 15. I said 18. It's not up for discussion. Find it or go home.
2. Start rattling off your long order when I am clearly busy
Just common sense. If it seems like I am ignoring you, it’s because I am.
3. Waving your card frantically in my face
Not only do you look insane, I am now purposely going to take someone else’s order before you. This may work for some bartenders, but for the most part it's just annoying.
4. Asking me to plug in your phone/babysit your jacket
The one exception is if you say can you please plug in my phone here’s $10. I can gladly plug that in for you. (Thanks for funding my late night snack)
5. Ordering a well but referring to the size of the cup
I think this is just a problem working in a college town, but just to clarify: a well is not a “big cup.” A well is simply the lowest quality alcohol the bar serves-- the exact opposite of top shelf. It is reffered to as a well because it's stored in close range to the bartender in a shelf called a well or bar rail. If you order a well it just means you are getting house liquor-- Skol, Bartons, or whatever alcohol the bar carries as their low end/ most affordable liquor.
6. Leaving your phone number on the receipt…. but no tip
Let’s be honest, I’m not going to text you even if you leave a 300% tip. You take the time to write your phone number, but you have the AUDACITY to put a big fat goose egg on the tip line!?!? I'm sorry I just.. I can't.
(S/O to one of my coworkers for actually texting a number that was left and telling him to tip next time--day made)
7. "How much is a kamikaze?” “$3” *pulls out 3 crumpled single bills* “OH PERFECT!!”
NO Sara… That is not “perfect.” That is terrible. That means I’m serving you for free. Even if I laugh I’m actually extremely annoyed on the inside. Enjoy your nasty sugar shot.
8. Ordering a drink, I make it, walk it over to you and then immediately order one for your friend
Basically just order everything at once. No explanation needed.
9. Passing out a round of shots to 10 friends and all taking them before paying
Sorry I know you are having the best night of your life, but I have 4 other customers staring at me so just hand me your card so I can continue to do my job instead of watching you take a shot.
10. NOT TIPPING
This is the most important part of this article. I know you are a broke college kid. I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. But tipping is part of going out. I am not working in a crazy atmosphere breathing in CO2 and going deaf just for fun as a volunteer. It is my job. Me paying bills and rent relies on customers.
If you succesfully made it through these 10 things and thought to yourself "who in the right mind would ever" or "people actually do that?" (Yes they do)
CONGRATULATIONS on being a decent human being!!! You deserve an award (or a drink on the house) because people like you are hard to come by.
On the flip side, if this is you, it's okay.. At least you are self-aware and you still have time to change. So best of luck on your journey to becoming a decent human, I believe in you.
Be sure to share this article with a friend so they can be well informed on what *not* to do the next time y'all grab drinks.
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